Catching a fellow ex-military man in the wild can be as easy as spotting a camouflage-patterned needle in a civilian haystack. Here are 20 hilariously accurate ways to identify a brother-in-arms.
1. Perfect Posture
Notice someone standing too straight, like they’re perpetually waiting for inspection? They probably spent years with a drill sergeant breathing down their neck.
2. The Buzz Cut
That no-nonsense, barely-there haircut? It screams, “I don’t have time for your fancy hair gel.”
3. Excessive Acronyms
If they communicate using more acronyms than actual words, you’ve found a fellow ex-military man. “I’m going to the PX before the CO’s ETA for the SOP.”
4. Tactical Backpacks
They’re carrying a backpack with more pockets than they need, probably because it can survive a nuclear blast and still be functional.
5. Super Early Riser
They’re wide awake at 0500 hours, having already completed a workout, breakfast, and a full day’s planning by the time you roll out of bed.
6. Precision Time Management
Watch them arrive everywhere precisely 15 minutes early. They can’t help it; it’s ingrained in their DNA.
7. Over-Prepared
They have a “go bag” ready for any situation, including a zombie apocalypse, complete with MREs and a multi-tool.
8. Love for Order
Their sock drawer is more organized than your entire house. Color-coded, folded just right, and always ready for inspection.
9. The Thousand-Yard Stare
They can look through you, past you, and into a distant memory of basic training or a deployment gone by.
10. Tactical Footwear
They’re always wearing boots designed to withstand extreme conditions, even if they’re just at the grocery store.
11. Obsession with Fitness
Spot a guy doing push-ups in an airport lounge? Yep, ex-military. They never miss a chance to stay in shape.
12. Camouflage Enthusiast
If their casual attire includes camo patterns or their favorite color is “OD green,” you know they’re one of the tribe.
13. Impeccable Grooming
Their beard (if they have one) is perfectly trimmed, and they keep their nails short and clean. Old habits die hard.
14. Tightly Wound
They get visibly uncomfortable with loose ends, whether it’s an untucked shirt or an unplanned schedule.
15. Knife Aficionado
They own more knives than your local cutlery store, each with a story and a specific use.
16. The Way They Eat
They can finish a meal in under five minutes, a skill honed from years of eating in a hurry.
17. Direct Communication
Their speech is blunt and to the point. No beating around the bush—unless it’s to establish a perimeter.
18. The Uniform Collection
Their closet has more uniform items than civilian clothes, and they probably still own a pair of perfectly shined boots.
19. Detailed Oriented
They’ll notice if something is out of place or if you’ve got a smudge on your shirt. Attention to detail was drilled into them.
20. Saluting Reflex
If you see someone reflexively salute when they spot a senior citizen or someone in uniform, you’ve found a fellow vet.
Brotherly Bonds
These tell-tale signs are more than quirks; they’re badges of honor. How many of these can you spot in your daily life?
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The post How to Tell if Someone’s Ex-Military: The Funny Version first appeared on Mechanic Insider.
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For transparency, this content was partly developed with AI assistance and carefully curated by an experienced editor to be informative and ensure accuracy.